•Do not show him disapproval of about his need to be alone.
•Do not try to help him with decisions of his problems.
•Do not try to help him like begin to give him questions of about his feelings at that moment.
•Do not worry about him and do not take pity on him.
•Do something that will makes you to feel happy.
The man wants his love partner to trust him. To believe that he can cope with his own proplems. It is very important for his honour, pride and his self-esteem. For women to take care of others is the way to show their love, and a woman can not be happy if her love partner is depressed. On the other hand, he wants to see her happy, because it helps him to be her favorite. Men show their love when they do not worry. They support each other as do not worried of about their problems. Even when men are not oppressed, they want someone to trust them. The man does not like unwanted advices and sympathy for him. He needs to prove himself. The ability to cope with problems by oneself is important for him. He looks for advice or support, only when he was tried every possible. Men are support each other instinctively. They do not offer help to each other unless someone does not make a request for it. When a man decides his problems, he needs to do it alone first. Then he may ask for help if he needs of it. In this case only he will not lose his power and dignity. To offer help to a man in inopportune time, he may take it as an insult. Men want women trust them, while women want more attention of men. When a man asks a quastion of a woman with face worried expression, and the question is: „What is wrong, dear?”, she feels calm of his care. But if she asks him: „ What is wrong, dear?”, in similar way, he may feel like she does not trust him. For a man is very difficult to make discrimination between the anxiety and sympathy. He hates when somebody takes pity on him. The woman may say: „ I am so sorry, that I hurt you.” He will answer her: „ It does not matter”, and he will repel her support. On the other hand she loves when he says: „ I am sorry, that I hurt you.” Then she feels, that he realy loves her. Men have to find a way to show their care, while women have to discover a way of expressing their confidence in men.
The man may feel like he choked, when the woman makes an attempt at comforting him. He behaves as if he perceive her distrust. He may feel under her control, if a woman treats him as a child. It does not mean that he does not need of love that calms him down. He needs of loving support, but by different way. The woman has to forbear from correcting his behaviour. It is the way to support him. The advices can be useful for him, only if he asks for it. Usually the man feels, that the woman accused him when she is oppressed and talk about her problems. He thinks, that she talks of her feelings, because she is deeply convinced that he bear the responsibility for it. In view of the fact that she is upset, and she wants to talk, he thinks, he is the reason for her problems. When she complains, he takes that as an accusation. Many men do not understand the women’s need to share their feelings with people who they love. To convince a man, that she does not accuse him, she has to do pause, after she was spoken a few minutes. She may tell him how much she appreciates his readiness to listen to her.
There are some pfrases that can help:
„ I am really glad, that I can talk about that.”
„ I feel relief, that I talked with you about that.”
„ After I told you that, I feel better. Thank you!”
This change may have big importance. While she speaks about her problems, she can show that she estimates his concern.
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