Nowadays many women are tired to give. Nowadays women want time for themselves. To be such as they are. Time for take care of themselves first. They want an emotional support of someone, someone who do not need of them to look after him.
Usually these emotional changes goes back to the time with their maturity. The woman shows an inclination for much more toll to be such what her patner wants to be.
In comparison with women, men are different. Until men are in their youthful days they are absorbed in themselfs and do not realize what are the needs of the others. When the woman reaches maturity she realizes that she tried to gave joy, but at the expense of her own happiness. When the man reaches maturity he realizes that he can serve the others better. He can respect them more. Also the man understend that he can make sacrifices. But the major change is that he realizes how he can give of himself. In the same way, when the woman reaches maturity, she finds out how to gives of herself. But the major change is that she starts understanding the necessity of that to put some limits, to get that she want.
When the woman realizes that she had been giving to much in the past, she tends to blame her partner for their failure. She feels that it is unjustly to give more than she takes. When the woman gives too much, she should not accuse the man for this. As well as the man who gives less should not accuse the woman, that she is not responsive. There is not advantage of accusations. The decision is in the understanding.
The woman has to define the frontiers of that what she will give without feeling hostility of her partner. It is the most important thing.
As she is afraid that she does not get support, the woman involuntarily reject the support. And when the man receives the message, and it says that she does not believe in his ability to satisfy her needs, he starts feeling estranged. The biting irony is that men get motivation when they are needed, but the need as need repel them.
„The need” is an open request for support, confidence and hope that the man will be able to do everything posible. When you trust him. It gives him power.
„The need as need” is desperate necessity of support, because you do not believe that you will get it. It repels the man and makes him to feel outcast and underrated.
When the woman understands that really deserve to be favourite, she opens the door for the love. When a man ignores woman’s inner needs they both retire into themselves. And then when the woman remembers her needs, he will want to give her more. When one of both partners accomplishes some positive inner changes the other do the same. The man is afraid of that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He overcomes it when he strives to increase his power and competence. To starts distribute to the other for a man it is to take a chance. He is afraid of reprobation and it will be very painful for him. The man look the most indifferent when he is afraid. And the big irony is that when a man love most, the fear of failure grows the fastest, and he gives less to pepple hwo he loves mostly. It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed, because he adopts it like his own unsuccess.
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