A simple touch can speak more than a hundred words. When flirting, touches can turn into instant catalysts of a promising flirtation or into prompt obstacles for the further development of interaction. Touches bear their own powerful language and they are signs of assumed intimacy: if another person favorably accepts you touch, chances are he/she also accepts the intimacy you have embraced.
The basic aspect: you can touch as long as you are very cautious about your manner of touching. Men tend to assume that when women touch them the immediate reference has sexual implications.
On the other hand, women do not feel very much at ease with strangers touching them, be that just a fleeting touch. However, do not just dismiss touching. There are pretty “secure” places where both men and women can be touched without risk of misinterpretation. One such place is the arm. If you want to stress your interest in something someone says, you could briefly touch their arm. Do not make that touch too long, however. Short touches are sufficient to grab the partner’s attention and make them return a positive look to you.
If the partner reacts favorably to this initial touch, you are free to touch a second time and this time you can prolong the movement. Chances are very high that such a moment will increase the confidence and understanding between the two of you. If this happens, you can proceed to the next level of interaction: touch his/her hand. Make sure you are not making this move too early: the partner might expose signs he/she feels uncomfortable with such a gesture. If your reaction is properly timed, repeat the hand-touch, this time prolonging it. As signs of acceptance turn more and more favorable, you can go on with touching the upper arm and the shoulder. Make sure that each touch is repeated. For instance, do not make the first hand-touch and then immediately go to the shoulders. This would be too abrupt. Each of the touches needs to be done twice: the second one is a reassurance that your partner feels comfortable with your clear signs of desired intimacy.
Finally, repeated touches are also an indication that the initial ones weren’t just an accident. They will make your partner certain of your intentions and create the basis for a successful flirtation bearing the anticipated, favorable outcomes. In the end, second touches act in accordance with one well known principle: practice makes perfect. In this particular case, practice will also render you sure of the perfection of your approach. They will make you more and more confident as you advance with your technique and they will signal your partner that you are a determined and skilled flirter.
