Steady Dates

If you’re going steady, you should be even more eager to keep your dates interesting. By now you have probably gotten to the point where your date helps decide what you’re going to do. A regular Saturday night date need not become routine and ordinary. In addition to the movies and evenings at home, plan something special once in a while. This doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. You and your steady might visit a nearby flower show, a bird sanctuary, or a museum. You might take an afternoon hike, or a bicycle trip to explore nearby surroundings. Walking and talking, or singing together, are excellent ways of getting to know each other better. You might like to guess about the people you see, or make up storiesabout houses and scenery on the way.

You and your steady date should be at the point where conversation comes easily. Having occasional dates which provide the opportunity for long talks will lead to even further understanding.

WHOSE DECISION IS IT?

Does the boy always decide what’s to be done on a date? Most boys will admit that the answer is “No.” In fact, many complain that their dates give them little chance at suggestions about date activities. What to do on a date can be a real cause of friction between a couple. Maybe a hockey game is in town, and the girl insists on going to a movie. If the boy wins the argument, the girl may spoil his evening by pouting and complaining. If the boy gives in to the girl, he might withdraw into his shell and be a bore all evening. Who should make the decision?

Usually if you and your date discuss the various possibilities, you can reach a decision that will please both of you. If, however, either of you approaches the discussion with your mind already made up, it can prove difficult. There are many things to consider when deciding where to go. You will want to ask yourself how important it is to your date to do what she wants. It’s not wise to insist on having your own way toprove that you can do it. Your date will only resent it. If you each try to see the other’s point of view, you can reach a mutually satisfying decision more easily.

Ask yourself if you can put off your preference to another time. Maybe the hockey game is in town only tonight, whereas the movie will be playing through all next week. It would be the logical and mature thing to realize that the game is probably very important to your date or he wouldn’t be insisting on seeing it. So why not plan on the movies for the following date?

Any mature decision is made co-operatively between the persons involved. The decision can also be of concern to the parents, or dorm mother, as well as to the couple. As you go further and further into dating, you will learn to recognize the invitations that are generally approved, and those that you had better decline.

Whatever you decide to do, the important thing is how you decided. If you both had a part in the decision, after reaching an understanding you both have a satisfying feeling. Consideration of another person’s values and desires and a willingness to talk things over leads to a mature understanding.