A recent study of male sexual aggression on a university campus reports that more than half of the coeds, were offended by their dates’ behavior at least once during the school year. The offensive behavior on the part of the males included necking, petting, and attempted intercourse, sometimes with violence. The largest percentages of offensive situations occurred on first or occasional dates (48.5 per cent) in contrast to 8.2 per cent among pinned or engaged couples. This indicates that the male “on the prowl” doesn’t force himself upon a girl because he likes her. Quite the contrary, when he loves her he respects her and doesn’t offend her with aggressive sexual behavior.

Girls who have found a boy hard to handle on a date frequently warn other girls to steer clear of him. This seems to be girls’ chief protection from unscrupulous males. The girl who accepts a date with a man whose reputation she knows to be “fast” may be deliberately letting herself in for trouble.

Likewise, the boy who dates a girl labeled “easy” by other fellows may find himself sexually stimulated and tempted to the point where it’s hard to control the situation.

It may seem smart or exciting to date a person with a reputation for being sexually demanding or available. But what starts as exhilarating may end up being depressing and degrading, as many young people have learned to their sorrow.

Why Take Risks?

The young person who wants to maintain standards of premarital chastity avoids dating the chance acquaintance, the pickup, the proffered ride in an automobile with a stranger, and all other potentially risky situations. Unscrupulous persons of both sexes are hard to distinguish from responsible, respectable ones at first meeting. Therefore the only real protection you have is in steering clear of situations that may become dangerous.

Staying out of compromising positions includes turning down invitations to obviously unsavory roadhouses, to motels, hotel rooms, or even to the home of your date if no responsible adults are to be present. Young people sometimes think that such cautions are foolish. But experience proves that many a youngster has met degradation, disgrace, and even death in such a rendezvous.

Playing with Fire

In almost any dating situation, whether or not exploitation is the intent, there is the possible danger that necking and petting will get out of hand. When a boy and girl are alone together they must assume responsibility for keeping their love-making under control if they are to avoid going all the way. They must realize that sex is a mighty and insistent urge and that they should not provoke its power.

Just where to stop, and how, must be learned by any boy or girl old enough to date. Some expressions of affection are normal and desirable. But love-making must be carefully

limited or, before they know it, they will have gone further than they intended.

Just when to stop differs among couples and individuals. In general, it’s just before the boy begins to be insistent and urgent in his caresses. Up to that point a couple are enjoying their closeness; then suddenly the boy begins to perspire, his heart quickens its beat, his breathing becomes more rapid, and his fondling gets rougher and more intimate. At that time, the responsible girl must push him away, reassuring him that she’s not rejecting him as a person but that she’s uncomfortable in his urgency.