I sincerely think that our policy of no heavy petting and no lengthy French kissing will help us prevent any experience for which we might be sorry, especially in view of our long engagement.

You know, darling, we will have to be very careful when I get back next September, so that we may protect that which we would like to keep pure until we get married.

It’s my love and respect for you that makes me want to have our marriage just right.

Always remaining all yours

WITHIN LIMITS

The boy and girl who want to maintain standards of premarital chastity are faced with the problem of keeping their relationship within bounds. This may be especially difficult if they are very much in love. When a girl loves her man, she wants to do anything that will bring him pleasure. So unless she has her own standards in mind, she may find it difficult to restrain him and herself from the full expression of their love for each other. This is even more of a conflict for the boy who loves his sweetheart so much that he can’t endure not having her completely, yet at the same time knows that he must control his feelings.

Standards from the Start

Long before the one great love appears, both boys and girls usually have other preliminary little love affairs with members of the other sex. If the individual has established a precedent for not overstepping the bounds in these previous relationships, it’s probably easier when the “true love” comes along.

This doesn’t mean that you have to remain aloof and coolly unavailable throughout your teen-years. Quite the contrary. The person who maintains high standards of personal conduct is often a popular, socially active individual with many interests, activities, and friendships. He enjoys the companionship of both sexes in a variety of situations. He learns in action the many pleasures to be found in socializing.

The maturing individual learns to give and to receive affection in a wide repertoire that offers expression to the many sides of love. He learns how to be tender, protective, comradely, romantic, dependent, nurturing, as well as passionate and erotic. Thus, by the time two people are ready to marry, they know how to love and to be loved in the many ways that it takes to make a union happy.

At the same time, the person who wants to maintain standards of premarital chastity must guard against those individuals and situations that make it difficult.

Choose Your Partner’

A person who wants to keep within bounds in premarital sex behavior must be careful in the choice of dating partners. Some girls are exploitive and demanding in their relationships with men. Some young people date with intercourse as an objective for the evening. To be safe, a girl must be pretty sure of the fellow she is dating.