One good way to say “No” is to offer an alternative suggestion. Follow up your refusal with an idea that may interest the others. When asked to go to a gambling joint, one boy answered, “I’d rather not go there; let’s go down to the skating rink instead.” Usually there are others in the group that would just as soon do something else.

The young people in one community complained that there was no nice place to which they could go on a date. The only places open after school games or movies were spots where liquor was served and where a rough gang hung out. When this fact was brought up at a young people’s meeting one Sun day night, the leader and a committee of teen-agers were delegated to work with some of the city fathers toward the establishment of a YMCA in the town. Their proposal was publicized in the community, and soon it was widely discussed among responsible adults. Within a month one of the nicer ice cream stores offered to stay open late enough to be of service to the young people. A joint committee of young people and adults was then formed to consider permanent possibilities for a YMCA, with a trained youth worker and facilities for a wide variety of wholesome recreation. Is this something that you and your friends could do? Is there a vacant build ing, store, or hall which, with the help of interested adults, you could turn into a youth center?

Sometimes you’re at a party that has gotten out of hand. Perhaps there is drinking that you had not anticipated. Maybe it has turned into a petting session. Some teen-agers are disgusted, because parties so often turn into unpleasant situations.

Usually parties get out of bounds because of insufficient planning. If the activities and games are planned for a party, it is unlikely that it will degenerate. People find no need particularly to turn away from relaxing fun and entertainment to other veins.

Sometimes there are parties without adults on tap. Chaperons may seem old-fashioned, but it does help to have adults at social affairs; their very presence keeps things under control. Regardless of how carefully you plan parties, incidents may arise that need a firm adult outlook. Suppose some fellows try to crash your party, bringing liquor with them. This is a hard situation for you to handle alone, but your parents would be able to put a stop to it at once.

Who Is to Blame?

When a party gets out of hand it’s usually blamed on the hosts or hostesses. True, much of the fault is theirs. If they had planned the party properly, and made sure adults were present, the trouble might not have started. In one sense, however, every person at a party is responsible when it gets out of control. If you’re at a gathering, and it seems to be getting wild, you might try to help steer it back to safety. The time to act is the moment the party starts to get rough. It does no good to wait until the next morning and then condemn the host.

What Can You Do?

Try to get some activity started to pull the party back in line. Suggest one that would be fun—really fun—to absorb the guests. Perhaps a game of charades will liven things up. Maybe there are enough table games around to capture people’s interest. How about a spur-of-the-moment scavenger hunt? Or maybe everyone would like to go out to the kitchen and make hamburgers or popcorn balls.