Chronological age is not the only or even the best measure of maturity—that certainly is true. Some teen-agers are quite mature for their age, just as many adults are immature for their years. But generally speaking, a girl of sixteen or seventeen is not grown-up enough to be really ready for marriage, any more than a lad not yet out of his teens is ready for the responsibilities of being head of the house.

How Parents See It

Most parents disapprove of early marriages. They usually prefer their sons and daughters to be very sure they are ready for marriage before rushing into it. With few exceptions, parents have an interest in seeing their children find themselves as persons before getting married. A father wants his son to finish his training and get established before taking on a wife and the responsibilities of marriage. A mother who has realized the benefits of education, whether she herself had one or not, wants her daughter to finish school before becoming a wife and mother. Parents have a considerable investment in their children. They have spent thousands of dollars in bringing up each child. They have invested much of themselves in rearing their children. So it’s to be expected that they don’t want their children to jeopardize their futures by marrying too soon.

Mothers and fathers know, from experience, that infatuations pass, and that impetuous love affairs should have the test of time before the young lovers rush into marriage. They are therefore apt to oppose an impulsive marriage undertaken before the couple really know each other or realize what they’re getting into.

Some very young people rush into early marriage as a way of rebelling against their parents. A girl who doesn’t see eye to eye with her mother may plunge into a premature marriage as her way of showing Mom that she won’t be bossed any more. A fellow who is trying to declare his independence from his father may get married as a way of getting out from under his father’s control. Needless to say, such drastic declarations of independence are poor bases for marriage.

Often it is the parents who pay the bills in their child’s marriage. When a young couple rush into marriage before they can support themselves, they usually count upon their parents to keep them financially afloat. Parents who grew up in a day when such things were not done may not be patient with their “needy” married children. A young husband may resent having to take help from his parents-in-law. His ego may sting under the realization that he’s not maintaining his own household. Difficulties come, too, when one set of parents does more for the young pair than the other side of the family. In-law problems flourish on just such feelings of jealousy, rivalry, and dependency, as many a young couple has regretfully learned.