RECOVERING FROM AN INFATUATION

Getting over a broken heart is a hard and lonely business. While it lasted, the infatuation was exciting and preoccupying.

Every waking minute was devoted to thinking about the other person, going over what had happened, and planning what would happen when next you met. And now suddenly, you’re alone. You see little of each other, and when you do it doesn’t mean anything. You wonder if you will ever care again about anyone else. You doubt that you can get over this painful experience. But time does wonderful things to heal the hurts of the heart, and especially for those who are willing to work toward their own recovery.

Out of Your System

The first and most important step in getting over a lost love is to face the fact that it is all over. It’s so easy to brood, to wish that things were as they used to be. It’s morbid to pretend that all is well when deep down inside you know that the whole affair is washed up. The sensible thing to do is to get rid of all reminders of the lost lover and get back to your normal life again.

There are several practical things you can do immediately. First of all, you can return his (or her) gifts and letters and destroy the sentimental reminders of your good times together. Remove the lost love’s picture from your room, and either burn it or put it where you’ll rarely see it. Put away the scrapbook, the diary, and the mementos that you have been saving—they only serve to remind you of the past.

Talking out your hurt with an understanding friend or counselor may be a real help in getting over a broken heart. As you put your feelings into words, you’ll feel the hurt draining out of you and the will to get better flowing in. The other person need not advise you; he just has to listen. What you need most is a chance to clarify your own feelings and to find within yourself the resources you can draw on to get started socially again.

After you have been hurt in a broken love affair you may want to retreat and nurse your wounds for a while. And perhaps taking a breather may do you good, if you don’t prolong it. It may be fun to see something of the family once more and to go on family jaunts again. There is satisfaction in getting your room in order, and perhaps digging into your work more earnestly.

A New Interest

There is nothing quite as satisfactory as finding a completely new interest when you’re trying to get over some hurt in your life. Perhaps you have always been interested in photography and now you have time to do something about it. You might join a camera club, visit photographic exhibits at the local library, or go on a picture-taking expedition with a group of local camera bugs. Your interests will take you into any number of avenues if you let them, and you will find life opening up for you again.

As you get absorbed in new interests, the past will drop away into proper perspective and the old wounds heal. One of the things that helps is that new friends and acquaintances come to take the place of the ones you have lost.