While this makes sense in retrospect, it’s not very helpful to the girl or boy trying to determine whether the present feeling is infatuation or love. So let’s take a look at some of the general characteristics of infatuation.

What Is Infatuation?

One of the main components of the “love at first sight” kind of infatuation is sexual attraction. A fellow is thrilled with the way a girl walks; she is deeply stirred by the way he looks at her, and before they know what hit them, they are “head over heels in love.” Sometimes this kind of attraction deepens into lasting affection. But more often, as the two become acquainted with each other as persons, they find they have little in common to hold their interest and attention.

This is why infatuation tends to center upon an unsuitable person, or even on more than one person at a time. If the “dream boat” is but one of several at the time, the chances are that none of them in the whole flotilla is more than just the expression of “being in love with love.”

When the adored one is completely unsuitable, the probabilities are that the young infatuated person is either suffering the “call of the wild” kind of biological thrill or is rebelling from what friends and family consider appropriate as friends and dates. Studies find that infatuations are often marked by parental disapproval, and that they tend to focus upon undesirable love objects.

For the Very Young

Dr. Ellis’ study of love relationships among young people concludes that infatuation tends to be more frequent among young adolescents and children under the teen years than among young people in the late teens and early twenties.

By the time a teen-ager has had some experience with dates and with his own developing feelings, he is not so easily swept overboard into unpromising infatuations. He learns to recognize his various feelings for what they are, and to withhold judgment about any of them until time and a closer acquaintance guide him.

In Brief ...

One of the characteristics of infatuations is that they last a very short time, only a few weeks in most of the cases studied. The two people may have eyes only for each other for a while, but as they really get to know one another the thrill wears off, and they drift apart or break up in a stormy scene of mutual recriminations.

Because infatuations are so common among young teenagers, most boys and girls have known the sting of a broken heart at some time in their lives. Parents may smile and say it was just “puppy love,” but the sad part is that it hurts just the same.