First Love

The love we feel for our parents is our first love. Throughout our early years we run to Mother for comfort, for loving, for attention; and we look to Father for strength and support and a sense of what it means to be manly. As we grow up, we put away these early childish ways and become more independent. Yet we continue to love our mothers and fathers for the very special persons they are in our lives.

Brotherly Love

Those of us who grew up with brothers and sisters learned to love them for themselves. We may have “fought like cats and dogs,” but we developed a family loyalty and a special sense of togetherness that carries over into new relationships as well. This special sense is a feeling of relatedness to all men everywhere, which develops as our associations with others grow. We express the meaning of brotherhood by trusting others even before we know them. We become men of good will as we re-enact the drama of brotherly love in many new relationships that stretch far beyond the family.

The Green-eyed Monster

We may not be proud of our jealousies, but most of us have them. When we feel insecure, unloved, unsure of ourselves, we tend to become jealous of what we want to hold for ourselves. Like the little fellow who hangs on to his toy fire engine and won’t let anyone else look at it, we cling possessively to our friends and loved ones. We’re afraid to share, afraid of losing what we love, insecure about our ability to hold our rights, and as a result we’re jealous and possessive.

Claire may gloat in her boy friend’s jealousy and feel that it’s a sign of Tom’s ardent love. Actually, jealous love is a painful love that has very little future in it. As Claire and Tom become more mature, they will learn to trust each other, and to have faith in themselves. Until then, their insecurities make them cling to each other jealously.

Unrequited Love

No love is so painful as the aching love of frustration. To love and not be loved in return is a blow to one’s ego, a stab to one’s pride. Even more agonizing is the knowledge that you have lost someone forever, while love for him still burns within you. How often have you seen a girl “carrying a torch” for her lost lover, refusing to be comforted or distracted from her hurt. She rails against the one who took her lover away. She sets out to hurt him in return for all the pain he has brought her. But nothing works, until she faces the fact that her love is gone and she turns to getting over her heartbreak. Similarly, until a boy can fully realize that his girl is finished with him despite the fact that he still loves her, he will know the anguish of unrequited love.