A fellow doesn’t have to neck to be popular with the vast majority of girls. In fact, girls generally prefer boys who are interesting persons and popular among the fellows to those who are “ladies’ men.”

The same principle holds for girls—only more so! A girl doesn’t have to neck or pet to be popular. In reality, surveys show that the most popular girls are rarely the ones who have a reputation for being willing to neck and pet on dates. It’s the socially inept girl with few alternatives who most often is involved in necking sessions. The popular girl gets a reputation for being a pleasant companion, a good sport, and an interesting person. Necking is not a necessary part of her dating repertoire.

THE GIRL’S VIEWPOINT

There are all kinds of girls and women, just as there are all kinds of boys and men. Some girls are love-hungry in their search for affection and get the reputation of being “easy” and available. Other girls are too self-conscious, or too absorbed in other things, or too frigid to be at all interested in a boy’s amorous advances. The majority of girls neither are afraid of familiarity, nor openly solicit it, but rather are puzzled about what boys expect and about how to keep their love-making within reasonable bounds.

Saying It Without Kisses

Some girls have scruples against kissing too often or too soon or too promiscuously. They want to get to know and really like a boy before they let him become intimate. They don’t want to get the reputation of being too free with their kisses.

Some health-conscious fellows and girls do not want to risk catching any of the diseases spread by mouth with indiscriminate kissing. Cold sores and other infections can run through a high school or college population, causing a great many sensible young people to realize the risks involved in promiscuous kisses.

How can you prove to a boy that you like him without yielding too soon to familiarities? That is an age-old question. Some boys just won’t take “No” for an answer. Others act offended and hurt when they’re held off. But the boy who likes a girl for herself will respect her wishes and not force himself upon her. So a girl has to run the risk of losing the attention of a few “wolves” in her search for the kind of date who is willing to be a genuine friend.

Letting a boy know what your standards are is one way of helping him accept them. You needn’t do this in a preachy way. You might discuss other people’s behavior or let your boy friend in on your dreams, aspirations, and values. A nice boy respects a girl with high standards and likes her all the more for knowing that she has not given other fellows the favors she refuses him.

Showing a boy you like him without expressing affection physically can be done in innumerable ways. You might express interest in what he is doing and planning; really listen to what he tells you; be sympathetic when he is in trouble; act pleased at his successes. Showing pleasure when you meet him, looking into his face when you speak to him, smiling warmly when he says something you appreciate, making him some simple little gift, inviting him to social affairs—all these are ways a girl tells a fellow she likes him.