The Proper Moment

If the first date is generally too soon for a good-night kiss, how well should you know a girl before it is all right? is a question that boys often ask. This is a good question but difficult to answer, because the way two people feel about each other varies so greatly. With some girls a fellow will want to be amorous very soon, while with other girls intimacies don’t seem necessary, or even desirable, even after long acquaintance. It’s not just a matter of how long the two persons have gone together, but rather of what they have to express which can only be communicated through kissing.

Signs and Signals

Boys are often puzzled about how to know just what expressions of affection a girl expects on a date. The girl’s behavior is his best guide. If she leans toward him and looks at him expectantly, most boys assume that she wants to be kissed. Some fellows find that they can’t rely entirely upon such signs of a girl’s readiness, for when they try to kiss her she slaps or acts offended. On the other hand, a shy girl may not indicate her willingness, and yet want to be kissed. Asking a girl if he may kiss her seems to many a boy to be asking for a refusal. Sometimes a girl who would really like to be kissed is afraid the boy will think she’s “fast” if she says “Yes.” So, in general, it’s best for a boy to wait until he knows a girl well enough so that he can interpret her reactions fairly accurately. That way his affectionate gestures will be welcomed rather than rebuffed.

How can a fellow know how far a girl will go in the expression of affection between them? If he respects her wishes, he “reads” her signals and obeys her signs of distress. When she draws back or requests him to stop by gesture or word, he breaks the chain of love-making and gets back on a comfortable basis again.

If he’s a “love-pirate” exploiting girls with little regard for their feelings, he may get away with a few offenses, but sooner or later he will lose the confidence and friendship of nice girls. Sometimes a boy discovers that there are girls who make a game of love; they tease a boy only to laugh at him when he becomes affectionate. Such individuals, male or female, soon come to be recognized for what they are—and little love is lost on them.

No boy wants to be ridiculed for his love-making. Fellows don’t want to be rebuffed by girls they like. Most boys want to show affection to their girls in ways that will be mutually pleasant. Therefore the fellow does well to wait until he is fairly sure his girl shares his feelings before he proceeds with his wooing. Then he paces his expressions of affection to what seems appropriate and satisfying to both him and his date.

MUST YOU NECK TO BE POPULAR?

Necking is light love-making of the kissing, hugging, cuddling variety that stops short of becoming urgently sexually stimulating. Generally a girl who is fond of the boy she’s dating enjoys his light caresses. However, if a fellow has gained the reputation of being too ardent, then, quite likely, he will find himself being avoided by most of the nicer girls and dated only by those girls who “have nothing to lose” in dating a “fast” boy.